Saturday, April 30, 2005
lead worship for the 2nd time yesterday...
hahas.however it all turned out...
its all for God.
im not to get anything out of worship
cos its not abt me.
but yeah.
i thot the one desire sounded
really loud and zao sia...
hehs.
stuff's juz happening.
all of which i have no idea
where it'll all be going.
in someways.
im happy with not knowing.
u'll hurt alot less.
but on the other hand.
im curious.
i want to know if wad im doing now.
will wad i want come out of it.
yeah but on the downside...
u'll realise alot of truth
when ure in the know...
so i guess for now.
im floating.....
hahas.however it all turned out...
its all for God.
im not to get anything out of worship
cos its not abt me.
but yeah.
i thot the one desire sounded
really loud and zao sia...
hehs.
stuff's juz happening.
all of which i have no idea
where it'll all be going.
in someways.
im happy with not knowing.
u'll hurt alot less.
but on the other hand.
im curious.
i want to know if wad im doing now.
will wad i want come out of it.
yeah but on the downside...
u'll realise alot of truth
when ure in the know...
so i guess for now.
im floating.....
smiles @ 10:08.
Friday, April 29, 2005
When I'm with you I feel a rush
'Cause I've never liked
anyone so much
Everybody says
that it's just a crush
But I think it's something more
Sunny skies or cloudy days
You always seem
to make them great
Letting you know
might be a mistake
But that's what being young is for
It's not because
I'm bored or lonely
I just want to be
your one and only
Na na na na na na na na na
Feels like fallin'
Na na na na na na na na na
Feel like fallin' in
Who knows, this could be the one
It's way too good to be outdone
Now I don't really want
to jump the gun
But I can't help fallin' in
It's not because
I'm bored or lonely
I just wanna be
your one and only
Straight into the ever after
Out of a story's ending chapter
Or this could be a huge disaster
If I start fallin' any faster
-feels like fallin' by jump5
'Cause I've never liked
anyone so much
Everybody says
that it's just a crush
But I think it's something more
Sunny skies or cloudy days
You always seem
to make them great
Letting you know
might be a mistake
But that's what being young is for
It's not because
I'm bored or lonely
I just want to be
your one and only
Na na na na na na na na na
Feels like fallin'
Na na na na na na na na na
Feel like fallin' in
Who knows, this could be the one
It's way too good to be outdone
Now I don't really want
to jump the gun
But I can't help fallin' in
It's not because
I'm bored or lonely
I just wanna be
your one and only
Straight into the ever after
Out of a story's ending chapter
Or this could be a huge disaster
If I start fallin' any faster
-feels like fallin' by jump5
smiles @ 21:12.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
my ankle.doesnt really hurt anymore.
hahas.yeah.
im serious.!.
grrr.
its the stupid blister dats causing the pain.
other den dat...
im fine...
um.ok.
so the fishball's still there.
but so wad.?.
hahas.
it doesnt hurt anymore.
doesnt mean dat when my lifes near perfect...
i neglect my frens.
i dont...but its juz dat.
u dont wanna share.
so wad am i to do.?.
hahas.yeah.
im serious.!.
grrr.
its the stupid blister dats causing the pain.
other den dat...
im fine...
um.ok.
so the fishball's still there.
but so wad.?.
hahas.
it doesnt hurt anymore.
doesnt mean dat when my lifes near perfect...
i neglect my frens.
i dont...but its juz dat.
u dont wanna share.
so wad am i to do.?.
smiles @ 21:07.
Monday, April 25, 2005
my ankle hurts like crazy now.
stupid ankle guard.
suffocating and like.
stopping my bloodstream from flowing.
and it itches like crazy too la.
lifes.pretty much prefect now.
things will juz sort itself out.
i hope.
hahas.
but for now.
im content.
=D
stupid ankle guard.
suffocating and like.
stopping my bloodstream from flowing.
and it itches like crazy too la.
lifes.pretty much prefect now.
things will juz sort itself out.
i hope.
hahas.
but for now.
im content.
=D
smiles @ 20:36.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
camp was.cool.
hahas.
sprained my ankle.
again.
hahahahas.
im a hopeless nut la.
i dunno wads happening exactly...
or where its leading to...
im juz going along
dont wanna jump to anything
when theres nth confirmed...
so yeah.
juz living each day as it comes.
hahas.
sprained my ankle.
again.
hahahahas.
im a hopeless nut la.
i dunno wads happening exactly...
or where its leading to...
im juz going along
dont wanna jump to anything
when theres nth confirmed...
so yeah.
juz living each day as it comes.
smiles @ 20:39.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
wads with u and talking.?.
will saying a single word or sentence kill u.?.
is there anything else in ur vocabulary
besides dont know.?.
even a simple yes or no would be nice.
but no...
i always have to second guess u.
will saying a single word or sentence kill u.?.
is there anything else in ur vocabulary
besides dont know.?.
even a simple yes or no would be nice.
but no...
i always have to second guess u.
all i want is the truth.
is it too much to ask.?.
im not trying to find ppl to blame.
i juz want u to at least.
to learn something.
even if it doesnt work out.
stop doubting me.
smiles @ 20:29.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
im oblivious to everything.
or trying to.
but seriously.
i want to give it all up.
all to have my old life back.
im tired.
mentally.emotionally.
i dont want to feel anymore.
wads the point.
its all gone unnoticed.
rejected.
i supposed to be the one who does everything.
to start a conversation.
the one to change.
the one who has to suit u.
we've been thru this before.
it takes 2 hands to clap.
2 ppl to make it work.
den why is it dat im always
the one who has to do everything.?.
i have mood swings too ok.
if u cant accept it.
den.fine.
i have nothing more to say.
this is the way i am.
im not going to change
every bit of me to suit ur liking.
ur not the only guy in the world.
or trying to.
but seriously.
i want to give it all up.
all to have my old life back.
im tired.
mentally.emotionally.
i dont want to feel anymore.
wads the point.
its all gone unnoticed.
rejected.
i supposed to be the one who does everything.
to start a conversation.
the one to change.
the one who has to suit u.
we've been thru this before.
it takes 2 hands to clap.
2 ppl to make it work.
den why is it dat im always
the one who has to do everything.?.
i have mood swings too ok.
if u cant accept it.
den.fine.
i have nothing more to say.
this is the way i am.
im not going to change
every bit of me to suit ur liking.
ur not the only guy in the world.
smiles @ 20:28.
Monday, April 18, 2005
i dont know wad exactly's happening...
but we seem to be moving in dat direction...
hahas.
yeah.
dat direction.
but den again.
u can neva tell la...
we're um.tempremental ppl.
lols.
so yeah.
i'll juz go along and see how it goes.
but we seem to be moving in dat direction...
hahas.
yeah.
dat direction.
but den again.
u can neva tell la...
we're um.tempremental ppl.
lols.
so yeah.
i'll juz go along and see how it goes.
smiles @ 20:55.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
i actually told myself
dat i wouldnt blog anymore.
cos theres nth to blog.
but i realised.
wad the heck.
im not gonna let
something like dat pull me down.
a night of tears is enough.
rejected...not my loss.urs.
im kinda like.
walking a blind alley.
no idea where im heading...
where i'll eventually
reach in the end.
but somehow.
theres still a flicker
of hope and light in me.
i'll juz leave it as a memory...
im kinda suspecting several crossroads coming up...
when.?.i dont know.
but please.
i dont think i can handle it.
its making me all confused.
juz when i thot i cleared up everything.
give me time.
dat i wouldnt blog anymore.
cos theres nth to blog.
but i realised.
wad the heck.
im not gonna let
something like dat pull me down.
a night of tears is enough.
rejected...not my loss.urs.
im kinda like.
walking a blind alley.
no idea where im heading...
where i'll eventually
reach in the end.
but somehow.
theres still a flicker
of hope and light in me.
i'll juz leave it as a memory...
im kinda suspecting several crossroads coming up...
when.?.i dont know.
but please.
i dont think i can handle it.
its making me all confused.
juz when i thot i cleared up everything.
give me time.
smiles @ 20:12.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
its all over.
smiles @ 21:41.
friends.
yeah i know they'll always be there
and everything...
but sometimes.
there are like.stuff which.
hmmmmm.
its not like.
i dont want to share or wad la.
its juz.
sharing with many makes me...
vulnerable.
cos i neva know wad will happen...
like.if our friendship will be that strong
after like.years.?.
i have difficulty trusting.
i guess some stuff are worth the wait...
but yeah.i have no patience.
i want things done.
i need assurance.
i need security.
which is why for this...
im at crossroads.
i have no guarantee
if something would come out of it...
its not dat i dont wanna let go...
i juz cant.
trust.assurance.security.
is it too much to ask.?.
yeah i know they'll always be there
and everything...
but sometimes.
there are like.stuff which.
hmmmmm.
its not like.
i dont want to share or wad la.
its juz.
sharing with many makes me...
vulnerable.
cos i neva know wad will happen...
like.if our friendship will be that strong
after like.years.?.
i have difficulty trusting.
i guess some stuff are worth the wait...
but yeah.i have no patience.
i want things done.
i need assurance.
i need security.
which is why for this...
im at crossroads.
i have no guarantee
if something would come out of it...
its not dat i dont wanna let go...
i juz cant.
trust.assurance.security.
is it too much to ask.?.
smiles @ 21:13.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
everything's kinda in a mess now.
hahas.
i swapped worship from last week to next week.
and now i realised next week clashes with sec3 camp...
and hmmmm.
its kinda late now to do another swap...
hahas.oops.
cell was ok.much better den last week.
hahas.cos maybe had more ppl to arrow.
lols.yeah.
i have no idea wad u want from me.
i talk to u u dont reply.
den wad.?.
possesive.easily jealous.
but of wad.?.
i juz dont get u.i juz dont understand u.
the real me...locked up where only i can unlock...
but why does everything kinda like.
center ard u.?.
how am i supposed to unlock myself to reveal the real me
when ure the one dat affects wadeva i do.?.
hahas.
i swapped worship from last week to next week.
and now i realised next week clashes with sec3 camp...
and hmmmm.
its kinda late now to do another swap...
hahas.oops.
cell was ok.much better den last week.
hahas.cos maybe had more ppl to arrow.
lols.yeah.
i have no idea wad u want from me.
i talk to u u dont reply.
den wad.?.
possesive.easily jealous.
but of wad.?.
i juz dont get u.i juz dont understand u.
the real me...locked up where only i can unlock...
but why does everything kinda like.
center ard u.?.
how am i supposed to unlock myself to reveal the real me
when ure the one dat affects wadeva i do.?.
smiles @ 23:29.
i made my decision.
now the ball's in ur court.
to make me or break me.
the decision's urs.
i wished i didnt have to make it sound so...
desperate.
but this is wad i really feel.
afraid...
dat history would repeat itself...
but dats something i cant guarantee either.
im juz living each day as it comes...
yeah.ppl change.
everyone changes.
and to make it work.
i guess i have to change too.
the real me.?.
i kinda lost the real me...
wad is the real me.?.
now the ball's in ur court.
to make me or break me.
the decision's urs.
i wished i didnt have to make it sound so...
desperate.
but this is wad i really feel.
afraid...
dat history would repeat itself...
but dats something i cant guarantee either.
im juz living each day as it comes...
yeah.ppl change.
everyone changes.
and to make it work.
i guess i have to change too.
the real me.?.
i kinda lost the real me...
wad is the real me.?.
smiles @ 21:44.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
i have no idea wads happening.
its like.
i feel dat we're going somewhere...
and den we're fighting.
den im like.
???
i dunno.
i made a decision.
but i have no idea how long i can hold on to it.
sometimes i juz feel like running away...
from everything...
and juz wish everything back to wad it was last time.
juz living my life carefree...
and other times...
i have the patience and everything to pull thru.
maybe i juz dont know wad i want.
i thot i did...
but i guess...wad we want is different.
i cant wait foreva...
for now, maybe.
but definitely...
not foreva.
its like.
i feel dat we're going somewhere...
and den we're fighting.
den im like.
???
i dunno.
i made a decision.
but i have no idea how long i can hold on to it.
sometimes i juz feel like running away...
from everything...
and juz wish everything back to wad it was last time.
juz living my life carefree...
and other times...
i have the patience and everything to pull thru.
maybe i juz dont know wad i want.
i thot i did...
but i guess...wad we want is different.
i cant wait foreva...
for now, maybe.
but definitely...
not foreva.
smiles @ 20:55.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
syf is done and over with.!.
like.finally.?.
hahas.and we got a gold.
yeah.dmb u rock.!.
waiting.is such a tiring thing.
im like.sitting on the fence here.
i dont know wad to do.
yes or no.?.
of cos the yes sounds more inviting...
but its not juz me alone to make it work.
no probably seems the safer way.
why not.?.
i mean.
since nth really has been happening.
i have no idea where we're headed.
i might as well juz take this time holding on
to use it to get over and move on...
but den.
why am i still holding on.?.
what am i holding on to.?.
like.finally.?.
hahas.and we got a gold.
yeah.dmb u rock.!.
waiting.is such a tiring thing.
im like.sitting on the fence here.
i dont know wad to do.
yes or no.?.
of cos the yes sounds more inviting...
but its not juz me alone to make it work.
no probably seems the safer way.
why not.?.
i mean.
since nth really has been happening.
i have no idea where we're headed.
i might as well juz take this time holding on
to use it to get over and move on...
but den.
why am i still holding on.?.
what am i holding on to.?.
smiles @ 20:36.
Monday, April 11, 2005
syf tml.!.
oh my gosh.
its like.
finally here.
ive kinda been waiting for this
for a really long time la...
but now dat its here
all i can tink abt is stuff dat needs to be perfected
things are still.
more or less the same.
ok.maybe a little better.
but im still waiting
and wondering...
is this all worth it.?.
oh my gosh.
its like.
finally here.
ive kinda been waiting for this
for a really long time la...
but now dat its here
all i can tink abt is stuff dat needs to be perfected
things are still.
more or less the same.
ok.maybe a little better.
but im still waiting
and wondering...
is this all worth it.?.
smiles @ 21:20.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
why do u have to go
and make things so complicated?
things are.
complicated.
i dont know wad to do.
yes.?.no.?.
its juz so difficult to hold on when ur being pushed away.
"come so far...
hold on so long...
all to give up.?."
yeah i know.
but wad else can i do.?.
it takes 2 hands to clap...
asking straight out is juz not my style...
i still have my pride.
its like a vicious cycle.
fight.sorry.fight.sorry.
is this the way i want it.?.
and make things so complicated?
things are.
complicated.
i dont know wad to do.
yes.?.no.?.
its juz so difficult to hold on when ur being pushed away.
"come so far...
hold on so long...
all to give up.?."
yeah i know.
but wad else can i do.?.
it takes 2 hands to clap...
asking straight out is juz not my style...
i still have my pride.
its like a vicious cycle.
fight.sorry.fight.sorry.
is this the way i want it.?.
smiles @ 08:00.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Every heartache that you have
The way you barely even laugh
You feel so insecure
But honestly don't you know
All the stuff that
Makes you feel so bad
You gotta throw it out the window
I've gotta tell you
You're beautiful to me
I've gotta show you
That you were made to be
Wonderful, can't you see
You're beautiful to me
Take a look into the mirror
Is it all becoming clearer?
It's so obvious
I believe if you try
You would be surprised
What you'd find
I wish you could see yourself through my eyes
I've gotta tell you
You're beautiful to me
I've gotta show you
That you were made to be
Wonderful, can't you see
You're beautiful to me
I know that it hurts
But I know what you're worth
A picture of perfection by design
And you are mine
I've gotta tell you
You're beautiful to me
I've gotta show you
That you were made to be
Wonderful, can't you see
You're beautiful to me
-beautiful to me by jump5.
The way you barely even laugh
You feel so insecure
But honestly don't you know
All the stuff that
Makes you feel so bad
You gotta throw it out the window
I've gotta tell you
You're beautiful to me
I've gotta show you
That you were made to be
Wonderful, can't you see
You're beautiful to me
Take a look into the mirror
Is it all becoming clearer?
It's so obvious
I believe if you try
You would be surprised
What you'd find
I wish you could see yourself through my eyes
I've gotta tell you
You're beautiful to me
I've gotta show you
That you were made to be
Wonderful, can't you see
You're beautiful to me
I know that it hurts
But I know what you're worth
A picture of perfection by design
And you are mine
I've gotta tell you
You're beautiful to me
I've gotta show you
That you were made to be
Wonderful, can't you see
You're beautiful to me
-beautiful to me by jump5.
smiles @ 20:35.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
You're just a dream
This is my reality
Totally insanity
If I could be in your dream
All I wanna do
Is be with you, be with you
You're just a dream
unfortunately.im not in ur dream.
not in ur life.
no where in ur heart.
Its so crazy how you make me go crazy
Everytime that I'm near you
its not just crazy.
its insane.dumb.out of the world.
and irritating.
especially when im ignored.
This is my reality...
This is my reality
Totally insanity
If I could be in your dream
All I wanna do
Is be with you, be with you
You're just a dream
unfortunately.im not in ur dream.
not in ur life.
no where in ur heart.
Its so crazy how you make me go crazy
Everytime that I'm near you
its not just crazy.
its insane.dumb.out of the world.
and irritating.
especially when im ignored.
This is my reality...
smiles @ 20:45.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Why am I such a dusty window
For your light to shine through?
Why am I just a tiny star
In a sky already blue?
Why do I offer everything
With my heart closed like a fist?
I want to love You better than this
Why do I live like I'm in chains
When You have set me free?
And why do I have to break Your heart
Before I fall to my knees?
I know it's time to pray for change
Give all I have to give
I want to love You better than this
So renew me
Remake me
Undo me
Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me
Complete me
Pursue me
Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me
Renew me
I need Your power to renew me, Lord, yeah
I need to know You're moving through me, Lord
I need You as my refuge
My first and last resort
Be the river always running
Through my deepest thoughts
Keep me in Your arms
'Cause even when I drift
I want to love You better than this
So renew me
Remake me
Undo me
Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me
Complete me
Pursue me
Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me
Renew me
My life bending to Your will
Seeking You until I'm more and more like You
So renew me
Remake me
Undo me
Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me
Complete me
Pursue me
Redeem me
Let your Holy Spirit living through me
Renew me
For your light to shine through?
Why am I just a tiny star
In a sky already blue?
Why do I offer everything
With my heart closed like a fist?
I want to love You better than this
Why do I live like I'm in chains
When You have set me free?
And why do I have to break Your heart
Before I fall to my knees?
I know it's time to pray for change
Give all I have to give
I want to love You better than this
So renew me
Remake me
Undo me
Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me
Complete me
Pursue me
Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me
Renew me
I need Your power to renew me, Lord, yeah
I need to know You're moving through me, Lord
I need You as my refuge
My first and last resort
Be the river always running
Through my deepest thoughts
Keep me in Your arms
'Cause even when I drift
I want to love You better than this
So renew me
Remake me
Undo me
Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me
Complete me
Pursue me
Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me
Renew me
My life bending to Your will
Seeking You until I'm more and more like You
So renew me
Remake me
Undo me
Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me
Complete me
Pursue me
Redeem me
Let your Holy Spirit living through me
Renew me
smiles @ 21:29.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
now i know blogskins really hate me.
its down under construction.
so much for changing skin.
things have been.
well.
pretty alrite lately.
been doing alot of thinking.
i've realised dat sometimes.
things dont go my way.
and also dat.
well.
ppl get a second chance.
yeah.?.
its down under construction.
so much for changing skin.
things have been.
well.
pretty alrite lately.
been doing alot of thinking.
i've realised dat sometimes.
things dont go my way.
and also dat.
well.
ppl get a second chance.
yeah.?.
smiles @ 21:01.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
40 days of purpose...
starting tml...
i have this sudden craving to change my blogskin.
hahas.
yeah i know.
its kinda crazy la...
this skin hasnt been here for more den 2 months...
but so what.?.
lols.
so i will.
change my skin i mean.
but
dat is if blogskin allows me to.
its hanging on me at every page.
rmb i told u these blog ppl hate me.?.
i rest my case.
starting tml...
i have this sudden craving to change my blogskin.
hahas.
yeah i know.
its kinda crazy la...
this skin hasnt been here for more den 2 months...
but so what.?.
lols.
so i will.
change my skin i mean.
but
dat is if blogskin allows me to.
its hanging on me at every page.
rmb i told u these blog ppl hate me.?.
i rest my case.
smiles @ 21:11.