Monday, September 26, 2005

ahh.
damn sian.
and as in the.
nothing's-going-my-way pissed.
ok i guess im really acting like a spoilt brat and everything.
but seriously.
u know the feeling when nth's going ur way
and u get pissed and angry
but u cant really blame anything or anyone
cos it was just.
an un-met expectation.
an illusion which will neva happen in reality.
den its like.
u'll go ard looking for someone to piss off at...
someone or something to blame...
and u realise.
there is nothing.
den u'll get even more pissed.
and just end up.
being angry with the whole world.
because something just didnt go
the way u expected it to.

u know dat feeling?
yeah.same here.

smiles @ 21:23.

Friday, September 23, 2005

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends
-friends by jump5.

this is not aimed to anyone in particular...
but i just found this song extremely meaningful...
and super nice.
so yeah.just thot i'd share it.
if u guys want to hear how it goes...
just let me know.
=)

smiles @ 21:29.

Monday, September 19, 2005

its quite.hmmm.
i dont know the like.right word for it.
weird?funny?fascinating?amazing?
oh well.
its quite.wadeva.how the littlest of all things
can actually mean a lot to someone else.
or sometimes.
the littlest things dat other pple do..
u neva knew it could affect you so much.
til it does.

hmm.does anything make sense?
hahas.
oh well.
2 more weeks to end of years...
den the holidays come...
and then its sec4.
its disgustingly crazily fast.

smiles @ 21:57.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

its been a while...
hahas.
blogging has become like.
if i have something to say.
den i'll blog.
im no longer a devoted blogger.

ok wadeva.

anyway.
met deborah unexpectedly today.
wahahas.had so much to talk.
but dats the thing la.
we can talk til the coms come home
and still not be done.
but anyway.
its was good. =)

the purposes of life seem to be wad everyone wants to know.
for me.i know wad my purposes are.
but i guess everyone has a different.
hmmm.motive?for living.
live to eat...
for money...
for love...
but well.it seems dat most dont even know
wad they're doing on earth...
which.come to think of it.
its quite scary.

end of year exams in 3 weeks...
den the holidays come.
and den its sec4.
its so crazy la.
just how fast life is moving...
i wanna stay a kid.

smiles @ 20:52.

Friday, September 09, 2005

hey juggie...
what holiday?
i spent everyday in the school uniform la.

which doesnt mean i went to school everyday...
but well.i did school-related stuff.

pre training camp ended today.
i really was an experience la.
and widened my uh.horizons?
hahas.
as to how good and how bad some school bands may be.
hahas.
though i must say i cant really have made a good impression
as compared to some others...
some of them can literally sight read a whole piece
complete with dynamics and articulation.
while some other like poor me
are struggling with just catching up and not getting lost.
but oh well.
you have the good and you have the bad.

the f.horn section was quite cute la.
really bonded and united.
walk into the music room at 230 on the dot...
took photos like.everywhere on the last day.
which is wad i cant say for my own section.
kinda banking on the camp games and stuff
in nov to really uh.build bonds.

so basically dat was it for my 'holidays'.
add tutorials...
throw in school band practices...
yeah.so.pity me.
=)

smiles @ 21:26.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

i have mixed feelings now.
im pissed and guilty at the same time.

its like.
im trying to please everyone.
make everyone happy.
but im tired of being there for everyone.
this sounds really bad.but its true.
how abt me?
its not like i dont know the feeling of neglectance.
just cos i dont show it
doesnt mean my world's perfect.

ok i have great frens like bryan
who actually understand me for who i am.
im not friend-less.
but i just dont want to run around
and be the crowd pleaser anymore.
its wearing me out.
and for wad?
to have it thrown back in my face?

do i look like i have the

'come dump your problems on me' face?

yes its not dat i mind.

i really love to help.

but it'll be nice if u guys could actually listen for once.

i dont expect rolling credits or wad
but it would be nice for an appreciation or something.

i used to ask pple how they were...
if their probs were improving and everything
i was trying to be the perfect friend.
but now back and i wonder
if my efforts were all to waste
because after all no one can be perfect.
so why try?

smiles @ 20:33.