it's nearly 1am and i have to be up at 7.30 tmr to go to work and yet i'm still blogging. the thing about work that makes it really sian is that your play time is really short, no matter how long you try and stretch it. its like you're really free and happy at 6pm, and then you slowly feel your hours of freedom slipping away. my free nights are really precious to me now, especially since 4 out of 5 of the the weekday nights are spent either in church or tuition.
yurong was dropped me home just now, and the whole journey back was spent talking about THE meeting and the rationale and points of view. and much as i'm against the whole idea and try and fight it and feel like slapping everyone else, i also had this constant nagging in my head that we're all children of God, one church, one body. and God must be really sad that things are like this and such feelings are felt. i don't know. much as my human nature screams to rebel, there's this other more mature voice saying to calm down. i dont know, i guess i'm just upset that we don't see eye to eye. cos i'm a person that likes to feel assured in love. and have world peace. haha.
I love YouAll of my hope is in YouJesus Christ, take my lifeTake all of meso anyway, this song keep playing in my head after that. could be cos we spent a good part of the practice just now doing this song. but i realised that its quite a hard song to sing and mean it. but i want to try. which means i'll go for the meeting with His grace that i'll be neutral and open, and with His love that i'll not harbour negative feelings about this whole issue.
take all of me.on a separate note, i'm still struggling with my giant. it's so hard to not try and take matters into my own hands. to 'create' my future.
patience, trust and faith.
smiles @ 00:41.
haha i'm finally back to blog cos i'm finally done with the busiest week of my attachment period! mmm the past couple of weeks have been pretty crazy and hectic, but God has been good :D
youth camp was awesome. i was really reminded on His faithfulness and love for me la. haha and i realised that if my job was singing worship songs, i'll gladly go to work every day. the feeling you get when you worship Him is just indescribable. also want to thank God for yet another milestone in my christian walk with Him, something to remind me and give me that boost to run the race. and for the opportunity to mix around with other corps people! haha. now pple cannot say central pple very dao ahh. i'm really glad that alot of us went, and i believe God has personally touched each one of us. only His touch can do something so amazing.
coming back from camp and going back to work was just anti climax haha. that friday i had a pre-groupwork outing with the youths to ecp for cycling. haha the beginning part was horrible! i was so stressed i cried. haha. but i was really blessed and touched by the youths who went eventually. they continued on unaffected, and i think i drew most of my strength and happiness for the rest of the day from them. they're so cute la really.
this week was just BUSY. super. there was a lot of last minute prep that needed to be done for the groupwork. i was stressed again and i nearly cried again haha. but i think it was more from the willingness of the rest of the staff in helping me prepare for it that i was so touched. and God is really amazing and so so faithful. He provided the youths who willingly came for the groupwork even though it was their day to play wii games. He gave me the words to say and the ideas to engage the youths. looking back at the past 3 days, i really wonder how i actually managed to say what i said. haha. i'm so high today because basically the hard part of my attachment is more or less over. and i think i did okay and well. (:
with all that being said, i still can't wait for my attachment to end. oh to sleep in till 12 noon!!!
i'm amazed at how great and awesome God is. He's cleary working in the youth group, and i'm getting excited at what's going to happen. although it's not really obvious, but i think our youth group is growing. and its not about the numbers. i think we've come some way in terms of bonding and maturing. haha and its so cool how He's raising up the youths.
You're greater than my yesterdaysYou hold me close todayYou're the Lord of my tomorrows
- Mercy by Casting Crowns
smiles @ 00:46.
did you know...
that the audio sound on a mac comes out from under the keyboard???
=O
.
.
.
so cool right?
haha i didn't know!
smiles @ 21:01.