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Thursday, October 27, 2005

long day today.
talks...report book...
workshop...dinner.

results were.
i dont know.
i dont really feel like rejoicing.
but nor am i like super depressed.
but its like.hmm.
its getting scary.
after all that.and i only got this.
how am i supposed to do better?

was just back from swensens.
quite cool.
everyones like staring at us
like they've never seen a bunch of students before.
they probably think we're going to some
conference or convention.
protesting for student rights or something.
anyway.no.
we just went for dinner.
damn tired.

on the bus.
saw the deepavali decorations.
guanting says they're for hari raya
started raining nearing school.
guanting said no it wasnt.
hais.just trust me eh?
hahas.but he had been a good balloon holder.
GUANTING IS A LAZY BOY !!!
there.

its not often dat i talk abt my day on my blog.
hahas.
but i've got nth else really much to say.
for now at least.
oh well.
tired.full.
ahhhh.
confused.

smiles @ 21:29.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005

pissed?
no.
more of a resolution.
yeah something like dat.

im not gonna be this random girl
dats easy to pushover...
easy to win over...
cos it aint worth it to play nice girl.
to always smile and say im fine
to put up this perfect world
to put up this facade.
deep down behind the mask
its shattered.lost.confused.
the girl dat seems happy...cheerful...
is the same girl dat walks home alone...a loner.

you know in those storybooks.
when you read and its so easy to pick out
the guy dat the character shld choose...
and will end up with an the end...
dat u cant help screaming
man its so obvious !
but the author just loves to bring u thru wad the character's thinking
the what ifs and shld haves
dat you start getting impatient.

but what happens if reality was just like dat character in the book?
its so easy to pick out the right one from a third person's view...
but wad if ure actually in it.
its totally different.
its absolutely difficult.
and ure not assured of a happy ever after.

wadeva.
im not gonna wait for someone to save me
like cinderella or snow white.
im perfectly independent.
i will not subject.

i can slay my own dragon
i can dream my own dreams
my knight in shining armour is me
so im gonna set me free

smiles @ 21:09.
Saturday, October 22, 2005

happy 200th posts.
wahahas.
if the counter thing there is reliable.

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

http://www2.shtvu.edu.cn/english/video/215HERO.MP3

- hero by mariah carey

smiles @ 22:51.
Thursday, October 20, 2005

got back some papers today.
aint very happy abt it la.
so did above expectation...
some way below.
but oh well.
win some.lose some.
AND I GOT A B3 FOR MY EOY CHINESE !!!
wahahas.
ok shant rub it in.

by the webster's dictionary
'content' - to appease the desires of, satisfied.
in simple english the rachel defination
to be happy with wad you already have.

and if u guys are actually observant...
u'd notice my blog name is ` c on t e n t .
i was at that time...
and um.after dat.i didnt feel very happy with wad i have...
cos i lost wad i had
regret?yes definitely.
but now as i look back...
i AM content with wad i have.
i've got the best family...great friends...a good life.
yeah i may not have regained wad i lost
unlike those fairy tale happily-ever-afters...
BUT.i've got memories.recollections.
they are not reality and may never be...
but they are fond memories
dat i hold close to the organ dat pumps life into me
and for that...thank you.
you know who you are.

smiles @ 19:54.
Monday, October 17, 2005

wahas.exams ended.
you know the relieved feeling you get when exams are over?
yeah.i dont get dat now.
there are the results...
call me a 24/7 worrier or wad la.
but i really need to do well.
its is essential dat i do well.
i need the assurance...
to my parents...to myself...
dat i can make it.
ahhh.why do exams like these matter?
got a 4 for my bio.
JUST ONE MARK !!!
to get a 3.damn.
this is getting scary.
i SO do not want my chem or maths papers back.

exams end...and band starts...
i still have those scores to memorise !!!
ahhhh.so much for holidays.
my november schedule is fully booked.
check back with me in dec.

im gonna need alot of warm ups tmr.
i probably lost my ambrochure already.
ahh help.

smiles @ 20:42.
Friday, October 14, 2005

blogging for the 2nd day in running.
hahas.
its been a while.

got back my mep paper.
I PASSED !!!
wahahas.all u pple out there.
i prove dat i CAN MAKE IT !!!

anw.den after mep.
it was like.raining?
dats an understatment.
so we were like.walking out...
wondering how to get to the bus stop.
den the security guard wasso kind.
he gave us newspapers.
im serious.
and a black trash bag.
so 4 of us...allan ben serene and me
we shared the bag.
but by the time we reached the bus stop
only ben was under it.
the rest of us gave up.
ITS NOT EASY WALKING UNDER A TRASH BAG
WITH 4 PPLE OKAY ?!
u guys shld go try.
when its raining like crazy.
hah.we'll see whos laughing.

When I was just a little girl
My momma used to tuck me into bed and she read me a story
It always was about a Princess in distress
And how a guy would save her and end up with the glory
I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be
Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

I don't wanna be like Cinderella
Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
Don't want to depend on no one else
I'd rather rescue myself

Someday I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me
Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am
Don't need nobody taking care of me
I will be there for him just as long as he will be there for me
When I give myself then it has got to be an equal thing

I don't wanna be like Cinderella
Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
Don't want to depend on no one else
I'd rather rescue myself

I can slay my own dragon
I can dream my own dreams
My knight in shining armour is me
So I'm gonna set me free
I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
Don't want to depend on no one else
I'd rather rescue myself

-Cinderella by tata young.

smiles @ 21:43.
Thursday, October 13, 2005

ahh.chem tmr.
im SO gonna die.

humans was.i dunno.
i could do the papers.
but how much of it is crap.
its hard to say.
bio was.hahas.i dunno too.
actually.i totally forgot the paper.
cant rmb if it was good.
emaths was kind of scary.
didnt have enough time.
similarily for amaths paer1 today.
physics was okay.surprisingly.
but dat can be scary too.
ahh.oh well.
win some lose some.

so yeah.dat leaves chem tmr.
and amaths next week.
im starting to freak out.
u would think after some 9 years of exams
u'll get used to it.hah.
u thought wrong.

something obvious is going wrong.
and maybe i shld like.do something.
before it detoriates any further.
but why me?
im tired of being nice.
its ur turn now.

getting music papers tmr.
please let me pass.

smiles @ 22:05.
Saturday, October 08, 2005

im into chinese songs now.
hahas.YESH.
totally unbelievable?
but oh well.
i realised i DONT dont know wad they're talking abt.
in fact.i quite understand.
hahas.
so anw.yups.
into them.
for NOW.

exams up ahead.
did i mention dat its really SCARY?
hahas.
im not gonna go into dat again
so u guys can continue reading on.

im getting really...PETRIFIED over my music.
i failed my grade 6 practical by 5 marks.
damn la.gotta go in for at in feb again.
and i played the same songs for my mep practical.
does dat mean i fail dat too?
and music eoys probably aint good too.
i didnt write in ternary form.
and the music is javanese.
AHHHHHH........................

i know.
this is kinda a week late reaction.
i took my paper last friday.
but i just received news on my practical today.
which triggered this chain reaction.

was talking with gt yesterday
and we were talking abt then and now...
the toys we used to play..
the carefree life we used to live..
or rather i used to live.
he's no different from before.
or so he claims.
we even got round to discussing weights.
hahas.
28kg at 10 !!!
crazy boy.
to think he came to this world at 6 kg
weighing like.twice the weight of a NORMAL baby.

ok im degressing.
but anw the point is.
i started to think back of yeah.
how different it is now.
to have all the choices laid before you...
each with pros and cons..
and its like.
"if i choice this path...will i regret?"

life is so full of "what ifs"...
"if onlys"...
but one thing gt said struck me...
"the thing is to not worry..."
but alas.
dats just SO difficult to do.
but a mental note taken there.

smiles @ 20:54.
Monday, October 03, 2005

everythings going the wrong way.
i didnt mean for it to be like dat.
it was misinterpreted.
the problem with actions?
there are many ways you can view it.
the problem with different pple?
everyone has different opinions.

sometimes its like.
fine.wadeva.
think wadvea u wanna think.
but.
things cant be just left hanging.
but sometimes.
its so tiring.
to keep up with everything.
to have to.think and make sure
dat wadeva i do isnt sending any wrong signals
or wadeva.

smiles @ 21:49.

deeply loved

RACHEL
26`o5; child of GOD.

greatly blessed, deeply loved. <3
hello


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