Wednesday, June 30, 2010

it's nearly 1am and i have to be up at 7.30 tmr to go to work and yet i'm still blogging. the thing about work that makes it really sian is that your play time is really short, no matter how long you try and stretch it. its like you're really free and happy at 6pm, and then you slowly feel your hours of freedom slipping away. my free nights are really precious to me now, especially since 4 out of 5 of the the weekday nights are spent either in church or tuition.

yurong was dropped me home just now, and the whole journey back was spent talking about THE meeting and the rationale and points of view. and much as i'm against the whole idea and try and fight it and feel like slapping everyone else, i also had this constant nagging in my head that we're all children of God, one church, one body. and God must be really sad that things are like this and such feelings are felt. i don't know. much as my human nature screams to rebel, there's this other more mature voice saying to calm down. i dont know, i guess i'm just upset that we don't see eye to eye. cos i'm a person that likes to feel assured in love. and have world peace. haha.

I love You
All of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ, take my life
Take all of me

so anyway, this song keep playing in my head after that. could be cos we spent a good part of the practice just now doing this song. but i realised that its quite a hard song to sing and mean it. but i want to try. which means i'll go for the meeting with His grace that i'll be neutral and open, and with His love that i'll not harbour negative feelings about this whole issue. take all of me.

on a separate note, i'm still struggling with my giant. it's so hard to not try and take matters into my own hands. to 'create' my future.

patience, trust and faith.

smiles @ 00:41.